From the outside, it would seem things came easy to me growing up. I was decently well liked, a nationally ranked athlete, and started both work and college at the age of 15. What people didn’t know from the outside was that I had experienced significant trauma early in life, and those experiences created some pretty intense emotions.

I was in therapy from a young age and therapists would typically urge me to “feel the feeling” and “sit in the feeling.” At the time, that felt like asking me to sit with a monster! No one taught me that emotions were actually trying to communicate helpful information to me, or how to extract that information from them. I was in a perpetual cycle where my stuffed emotions would only stay stuffed for so long before showing up at the worst times as panic attacks, irrational fears, or inconsolable crying. By age 17, I was absolutely exhausted! My lack of emotional intelligence was sabotaging my success and my quality of life.

Realizing something about my approach with my emotions was not working, I started reading self-help books by the dozen. I began to understand that my emotions were just desperately trying to get my attention…in order to help me! They are incredibly logical, but like a math problem, they may seem like illogical nonsense until you understand the formula. My life was completely transformed when I cracked the code of emotions, and realized they only exist to help guide us to a better life.

These days, I have no meltdowns, no emotional outbursts, and no inner turmoil, despite what happens outside of me, I am a safe place for myself. My emotions are my greatest resource. They are like a best friend with trustworthy advice and help me solve work, financial, physical, and relational problems before they start, or escalate to bigger issues. I am “achieving” more than ever, but also enjoying very positive relationships and the emotional experience of meaning, purpose, and gratitude each day.

While my experiences may have been on the more extreme side in some ways, I realize that I am not alone. Most people are never taught to work with, or capitalize on their emotions. And, this is sabotaging a portion of their success in work, relationships and quality of life. I don’t want that for anyone!

The process of learning how to unlock the positive potential in emotions does not happen overnight, and initially might seem complicated. Having an experienced teacher will greatly expedite the process. That is where I come in as your coach. Over the last 15 years, working with thousands of people, I have seen how each and every emotion is truly trying to help us. I know first hand the reward of learning to work with your emotions and how it can completely change your life!