If you’ve ever googled, “how to stop feeling overwhelmed” as a mom, this is for you!
There’s a misconception that peaceful moms never get angry, never cry, never have a frustrated moment while buckling a squirming toddler into a car seat.
Let me tell you the truth:
Emotionally intelligent, peaceful moms do get angry.
They do feel overwhelmed.
They do have days where nothing fits and everything feels too loud.
What makes them different isn’t the absence of emotion—it’s what they do with it, and how quickly they shift from the feeling to taking action with the following steps:
1. They slow down enough to name what’s happening.
“What am I feeling right now? Is this frustration? Is this sensory overload? Is this fear of failing?”
Awareness is always step one.
2. They ask themselves what they need.
“Do I need a moment alone? Do I need help? Do I need to take some deep breaths? Do I need to identify a lie I am thinking about my worth, value, or ability?”
Needs aren’t weaknesses—they’re signals of wisdom.
3. They take action to repair instead of shame-spiral.
After a tough moment, instead of drowning in guilt, they reconnect and show love to themself first, then to their child.
To themselves: “I’m sorry I didn’t take more time to listen to you first, and hear what you needed before I snapped. I want to do better to hear you and give you a voice to have needs, too instead of igoring you in the future.”
To their child: “I am sorry I yelled. That wasn’t your fault. I was upset with myself/the situation, but I am working on catching it faster, so I don’t feel so overwhelmed. I love you.”
That repair does more good than being calm all the time ever could. It also teaches your child you feel this way about them when they act out, and how to be kind and love themselves through their own moments of reaction in the future.
4. They honor their internal world so they can lead their external one.
Your home follows your nervous system more than your to-do list. In order to be a peaceful mom, we need to get honest about what truly matters most to us. Then, to live by that truth.
As an 80-year-old grandma, which of the following do you want to one day tell your grandkids?
First option: “I am so glad your mom saw I cleaned the floor every day even if it meant I was stressed out and yelled at her, it was worth it for the clean floor. Now you get yelled at because I passed that lack of awareness and way of operating onto her.”
Or, option two: “I am so proud I learned that the emotional energy I bring to my house impacted my kids more than the items on our list. At first, I was upset and stressed a lot, but I grew and learned to think better thoughts and have a better perspective about having a slightly dirty floor, and a system to make sure it gets cleaned enough that I am not overwhelmed by it. I am so glad I learned to accept myself honestly, stop yelling at your mom and that because of that, she feels happy, peaceful and safe around me. Not only that, I taught her how to create a loving, emotionally strong and safe home for you as well.”
Zooming out to look at our life from the bigger perspective helps us realize that honoring our internal world first leads us to live a happier life full of pride! It’s worth the investment of time and energy to take the steps to create a more peaceful motherhood today!